Day 2: Quitting My Day Job
I realized after spending the morning writing about all of my fears surrounding my day job that what I actually needed to do was…
Quit My Day Job.
So, I set an intention to quit my day job 15 minutes after writing yesterday. Over 700 people reassured me that this was the way to go and today’s the day. My boss arrives at my store this morning and I wonder if I’ll have the guts to do it. Will I go through with it.
I’m shaking in my flip flops because this scares me to death. And, that makes me want to puke. But, I once read somewhere that when the pain of who you are becomes great enough you’ll do whatever it takes to save yourself.
That’s what I’m doing.
My daughter is singing in her bathroom getting ready to go to school. And, I’m sitting downstairs still feeling like I’m going to puke.
I asked her what she was singing and she’s singing “Let It Go” from Frozen. It’s a sign. I need to let it go. Let it go. And, maybe that’s the key. Just letting go of the life that you thought you’d have and setting yourself free.
She’s still singing sitting on the couch right next to me, now. She just asked me to stop watching her sing. I’m thinking how lucky I am to have such a sweet daughter. “It’s time to see what I can do to test the limits and break through.”
Funny how I still want to puke. But, I feel like it’s a sign that I’m doing just the right thing. Funny how signs seem to be all around you, when you’re ready to move forward. And, try something different.
Today, I’m going to quit my day job. No net, no savings account, no money set aside. Just me and an insane desire to be more than I am today and to grow and help people tomorrow.
I’m wondering if this will matter because it’s such a crazy thing to do. Take the training wheels (AKA my day job) off and learn to ride without the easy money sitting in the bank account every two weeks.
I’m going to have to hustle to make it happen. I’ve always thought of myself as a scrappy person by nature. A scrappy DIY-er that can get just about anything done. And, I’ve always thought that I had a big heart.
Will I have the courage to do this? To love myself enough to take a step forward towards myself? To leave behind an easy job that pays the bills and puts food on the table?
Have I lost my fucking mind?
Maybe I have. Or, maybe I’m a genius?
It’s getting closer and closer to the time that I will be sitting at work with my boss. And, I’m really nervous. Really nervous.
Let it go.